Tourettes Without Regrets

Miss Misery’s Vampiric Erotica

Tourettes Without Regrets — Fri, 16 Nov 2012 03:44:01 +0000

Anyone familiar with Tourette’s should know that when we describe something as a “bloodbath,” it’s not because a shooter got loose in the crowd. No, it’s a lot more likely that someone is literally in a bathtub, lathering themselves up with cherry-red blood.

That established, let me tell you that Patricia Misery’s Halloween striptease was a total bloodbath. Her garb was gothic, her widow’s peak epic and her performance hot enough to make your blood boil. The crowd ate her up as she teased us and then pleased us, stripping to her knickers and diving into a pool of gore. As she spread the red all over herself, Patricia may have achieved a Tourette’s first: making the audience jealous of a blood-covered sponge.

For more Patricia Misery, check out her Facebook and see her work with the burlesque troupe Séduction Féroce!

The swirling flames of VATRA

Tourettes Without Regrets — Fri, 16 Nov 2012 03:29:46 +0000

Fire dancer VATRA came to Tourette’s last month to do things that no Fire Marshal would ever deem safe. This shirtless, shredded heartthrob gave the crowd a wild show, spinning his specialized extra-long rope poi in tight rhythmic geometries. By the time he was done, the whole Metro smelled like ash and lighter fluid… and perhaps the gushing hormones of aroused audience members.

Fire plus motion equals a photographers wet dream, so we have a wealth of awesome shots of Vatra in action. Check out the mini-gallery below to see his Tourette’s performance and visit his Facebook to see more of his work with the Pyronauts troupe!

Eloisa Bravo, latina LOCA!

Tourettes Without Regrets — Fri, 16 Nov 2012 03:06:38 +0000

Up-and-coming SF comic Eloisa Bravo lit up the Tourette’s stage with her unforgettable brand of Venezuelan comedy. With her home-grown hoochiemama accent, she tore up the crowd with stories of love, loss, temporary insanity and living in a world where men expect her vagina to also trill her “R”s.

“It’s like I have dual citizenship,” she lamented. “My mouth is Venezuelan and my pussy is Canadian… Very big and nothing going on.”

To see more of this cray-see muñeca, check out her Z-Vents page for upcoming shows and stay tuned here at Tourettes.com to get the full video of her performance!

B NASTY vs RIDICULOUS

Tourettes Without Regrets — Wed, 10 Oct 2012 00:59:08 +0000

Previous Tourette’s battle champ B Nasty laid the verbal smack down on the reigning MC Ridiculous in an extended showdown that went from 30 second verses to 4-line tradebacks. These two beasts of battle rap have a whole belt of medals between them, so even if Ridiculous took home the gold – FOR THE THIRD STRAIGHT MONTH – everybody wins when MCs this talented throw down.

A lovely audience member votes “O” to give Ridiculous the big win

MIND BENDING ACROBATICS

Tourettes Without Regrets — Wed, 10 Oct 2012 00:38:55 +0000

A pair of performers from Cirque du Soleil rolled through Tourette’s to give everyone a spectacle of graceful athleticism that we will NEVER forget. Words can’t really suffice for the incredible feats of strength and balance that they displayed, nor the smooth expressionless sexiness that they exuded… So here’s a bunch of pictures! (Double click for full size)

Best of the Midwest

Tourettes Without Regrets — Wed, 10 Oct 2012 00:21:58 +0000

Sam Cook spits the truth

Traveling poets Sam Cook and Michael Lee rocked the house at the last Tourette’s show, winning the crowd with their passionate and personal spoken word performances. Sam was brave enough to be the first “sacrificial” performer at the slam and blasted us with both barrels in his deep meditation on political violence. “They say the sniper scope is a beautiful woman’s gaze, the crosshairs a crucifix” – great line.

Michael relates harrowing tales of youthful mistakes

Michael shared the story of his fight against alcoholism, which was by turns funny, shocking and humblingly honest. “I’m allergic to alcohol. Every time I drink it, I break out in handcuffs.” Check back for videos of their performances, and visit their webpages at http://www.myspace.com/samjcook and http://www.tumblr.com/tagged/michael-lee-poetry

The Return of JELLY DONUT

Tourettes Without Regrets — Tue, 09 Oct 2012 23:20:32 +0000

Mitt Romney eats the mic to destroy his MC opponent

Republican Presidential candidate Mitt Romney showed up this month at Tourette’s to throw down in a take-all-comers MC battle marathon! We all assumed it was part of his campaign to seem more *in touch* with urban youth, but after he “trickled down” all over his rival MCs, we discovered he was a fraud!

Jelly Donut gets a helping hand from a friendly unicorn

Beneath a rubber mask was Tourette’s legend Jelly Donut returned to the stage this month to open up his big pink box of talent! The handsome pastry rapped freestyle with words suggested from the crowd (“football” and “cuntmuffin” were among them, but fortunately not “orange”) and finally serenaded us all with a heartwarming song “Everyone Make your Masturbation Noise.” Ahh, nothing satisfies like a donut at midnight.

Everyone Make Your Masturbation Noise, ooh-ee! Ooh-eee!

MC REVERSE Vs. RIDICULOUS

Gabriel — Thu, 13 Sep 2012 03:10:42 +0000

ThiIn now a two month war, brash newcomer MC Reverse went head to head in the freestyle finals against Tourettes reigning champion Ridiculous, after five rounds of absurd come-backs, Ridiculous took BACK the title he just lost to M.C Reverse last month! Video coming soon!

Chick-Fil-A Lapdance

Gabriel — Mon, 13 Aug 2012 03:05:27 +0000

‘F*ck Chick-Fil-A’ Video: Tourettes Without Regrets Stages Chicken Sandwich Lap Dance Protest. Check out video and Huffington Post article here

Sam Sax and Katelyn Lucas

Zero Coordinate Inc — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 05:05:13 +0000

The Oakland and Berkeley Grand Slam Champions premiere a scorching and controversial duet that caused conversation for days about open relationships, jealousy and one off sex. Video coming soon!